Little Johnny Farts in Class

Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing.

The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says, "Little Johnny what are you doing sitting here laughing?"

Little Johnny says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out."

The principal says, "Well then, why are you laughing?"

Little Johnny says, "Because the dumb idiots are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean air."

Ek baar fir apne College me wapas laut jau!

Waha ki DHUP bhi achi lagti thi
Yaha ki AC me bhi aaram nahi hai

Waha GHAAS pe baithna bhi acha lagta tha
Yaha CHAIRS pe bhi chain nahi hai

Waha ke SAMOSHE bhi swadisht the
Yaha ke BURGER me bhi swad nahi hai

Waha ki CHAI bhi meethi lagti thi
Yaha ki CAPACHINO me bhi mithas nahi hai

Wo BLUE UNIFORM aur JEANS me ek confidence tha
Aaj FORMAL me bhi comfort nahi hai

Wo BLACK SHOES me jo baat tha
Woh aaj ADIDDAS aur NIKE me nahi hai

COLLEGE BUS ki aakhri seat pe baith ke Gaaye hue Gaano ki jaise ab Dhun bhi yaad nahi hai

Ab bas saamne ek Computer Screen hai aur hasne layak koi mazak nahi hai

Faculty se ladte waqt ye pata bhi nahi tha ki Manager ke samne kuch bol bhi nahi paenge
Ab to ye bhi nahi pata hota ki hum wapas Ghar kab jaenge

Ek Jhuthi Muskurahat liye hum jaise jee rahe hai
Zindagi ka koi bhi Ghum ho Office ke kaam ke saath pee rahe hai

Subah ka ek Message “Aaj nahi chalte yaar”
Ab “Its 9.30 where are u??” me badal gaya hai

Pehle jis hasti ko lagbhag pura College janta tha
Aaj wo ek CUBICAL me simat ke reh gaya hai

Pehle ek dusre ki party me jaise bill badhane jate the
Aaj ki Partiyo me thodi si Khusiya paane jate hai

Pehle Best Friend B’day pe cake na laye to gussa ho jate the
Aaj to Best Friend se B’day pe mil bhi nahi pate hai

Woh College group ki ladaiya jo agle din hi bhul jate the
Aaj Manager aur Subordinate ki jung me tabdeel ho gayi hai

Exam hall ki “ek line bata de yaar”
Wo ek line ab Google pe bhi nahi mil rahi hai

Pehle jinhe ghanto baith ke hasate the
Aj unse jee bhar ke baat karne ka bhi time nahi hai

Pehle jinse mile bina din nhi katta tha
Aj unke bina zindagi kat rahi hai

Wo Mid-Sem me ek shabd bhi na likhne ki azadi
Aaj jaise badi badi Excel sheet update karne ki majburi me tabdeel ho gayi hai

“Tune kitna padha plz mujhe bhi padha de yaar” yaha koi nahi sunta
“I have done my work please review it” hi hamari favorite line ban gayi hai

Dil kehta saari bandishe tod ke wapas chala jau
Ek baar fir apne College me wapas laut jau!

Brilliant Answers by a Student who got 0% Marks..

Q.1- In which battle did Tipu Sultan Died ?..
Ans.- In his Last Battle..

Q.2- Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed ?..
Ans.- At the Bottom of the Page..

Q.3- What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?..
Ans.- Marriage..

Q.4- Ganga Flows in which State ?..
Ans.- Liquid State..

Q.5- When was Mahatma Gandhi Born ?..
Ans.- On His Birthday..

Q.6- How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People ?..
Ans.- By Preparing Mango Shake.

Worst exam ever!

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.

After one week, a test was held.

The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs. No bodies,no feet, just legs.

The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.

The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute.

Finally, he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test paper on the teacher’s desk.

“This is the worst test I have ever given.”

The teacher looked up and said, “Young man, you have flunked the test. What’s your name?“

The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, “You tell me”.

Save earth..

First day of school.. boy sees a beautiful girl siting right next to him and writes in a paper.. "I love u, do u love me?" and passes the paper to her..


she replies.. "no"..


He din't give up..


he rubbed her answer and passed it on to another girl and she replied.. "yes"..
.


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Moral of the story:
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.
.
.
Definitely not what you think..


Itz.....
'Save earth.. Recycle paper!;-)

डॉक्टर नर्स

एक औरतने आठ सालके छोटे सनी को कान पकडकर उसके घर उसके मांके पास लाया -
'' सरलाजी अपने लडकेको संभालो... मैने अभी अभी इसे मेरी लडकी पींकीके साथ डॉक्टर और नर्स खेलते हूए पकडा है ''

सनी के मांने पींकीके मांको समझानेकी कोशीश की, '' कमलाजी .. इतना सख्तीसे मत पेश आईएगा... इस उमरमें लडकोंमे थोडा आकर्षन होना लाजमी है ''
'' आकर्षन ? ... अच्छा हुवा मै वक्त पर पहूंची ... नही तो ये तुम्हारा लडका चाकुसे पेट काटकर मेरी लडकीका अपेडीक्स बाहर निकालने वाला था'' 

During examz..!!

During examz..!!


1 Dost continuosly likh rha hai..!!


2nd frnd continously saying, ''Kutte kuch bta 


de''
.
.
1st frnd Reply : Mujhe khud ghantaa kuch aata 


hai..!! :P


2nd frnd ultimate reply : Toh ye kya apne baap 


ko luv letter likh rha hai kamine...?




KitnE "admI" thE sarDaR "2" :-(

Pass kar ke dikha...

ek student examde raha tha...
question paper mae challenge ka example dena tha...
studet ne pura paper khali chod diya 
or end mae likha ki..
.
..
...
..
.
ek baap ki aulad hai toh pass kar ke dikha..

student in exam....

student in exam paper at the top before starting to write the answers..
all answers written below are imaginary..
iska hakikat se koi vasta nai hai...
sari ghatnaee kalpanik hai..
krupiya dare nai..or
shanti purvak bina paper padhe marks de de...

Letter to harami principal !!

Salam saale,

ye bata kaun haramkhor paper set karta hai. Kamino students ki jaan nikal jaati hai.
upar se saalo paper checking aisi hoti hai jaise apni beti ka rape ka badla le raha ho.
pata nahi aisa syllabus banaya hai jaise tumhare yahan toh sab graduate he janme hain..
Tumhara baap bhi is paper mein pass nahi ho payega, 
tu khud aise paper mein 10 baar mein pass nahi ho sakta.
Tu kabhi bahar toh mil, tere ko main bataunaga graduate kya hota hai
teri maa ki -------
Yours faithfully
( main pagal hoon jo naam likhunga kutte ) :P