Parking Spot

John was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

John looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

Funny Mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
______________________________

"Do you know who I am?"

One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. 

The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10
minutes later, and went to hand the test to his instructor. The instructor told him he would not take the test.
The student asked, "Do you know who I am?"
The prof said, "No and I don't care."
The student asked again, "Are you sure you don't know who I am?"

The prof again said no. So the student walked over to the pile of tests, placed his in
the middle, then threw the papers in the air.
"Good" the student said, and walked out. He passed.

OMBAY-OMBAY

 Santa traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY,
while landing, he shouted : "BOMBAY-BOMBAY",

air hostess : " B-silent please ",
santa said : " OMBAY - OMBAY.....!!!!!!!! "

Anouncement

Announcement in University: 


"The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them" 


Another anouncement after 20 minutes: 


"The 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes"

ladies to keep quiet

Guide: I welcome you all to Niagra falls. This is the world's largest waterfall & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard! 




Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls.......

What an insult:

Boyfrnd: i like ur "teeth" very much.
Girlfrnd
(smiled n said): oh really. Why?
boyfrnd:
coz
"yellow" is my favrite color

Happy winter.....!!

When RAJNIKANT
switches on his AC without closing the door.....
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Winter starts in INDIA. !!!
Happy winter.....!!

Rajni Special

Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race.
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Don't even try 2 guess wat happened
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Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear...

Moral Story

A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing.

Rabbit thought to do the same and sat on ground.

A wolf came and ate it....

MORAL: To sit and do nothing, you need to be at the top.

Chess Champ

once a sardarji get on the train and in front of him sitting was a chess champion. 
champion asked him to play chess but sardar denied saying 'you r already a chess champ, how i can compete you anyway?'. 
champ replied 'don't worry, i'm gonna play with my left hand'. 
sardar agreed, they played, sardar lost. 
sardar got of...f in next station. 
He met his friend, the other sardar there and he told about the chess stuff. the other sardar told him immediately 'paji, that champ always plays chess only with his left hand

doctor had more knowledge

Santa's wife become unconscious
doctor:she is dead
he put her body in a box
wife-i m not dead
Santa: dont say a word,doctor had more knowledge than you!!!!!!!!!!

Not My Friend

Santa to Banta: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Banta rushed home angrily. 

After half an hour, he came back and slapped the Santa.

Banta said: You fool, he is not my friend.

Exam Reminde

Teacher: Students,your exams starts on next 15th..!
suddenly Santa took the mobile and wrote something..
Teacher: Santa, what are you doing there in mobile.?
Santa: I was putting the reminder..ma'm..
Teacher: what reminder??
Santa: "Exams starts today, attend it..!!!"

Google

Rajnikant woke up one day and decided he should share atleast 1% of his knowledge with the world...







Thus google was born...

small loan

A Bank Manager asked to a sardar in an interview.
"What is Cyclone"
Sardar:--it is a smallest loan given by the Bank to purchase a cycle